I have a few things going on. I feel a bit like I’ve been catapulted and am now speeding through the air like a big pregnant rocket, with no landing in sight.
Home-buying is proving to be a full-time job. I try to tell myself that we are probably in the worst of it now, and in a matter of what? A couple of weeks? Things will calm down considerably, and then we’ll be able to just focus on preparing to move. But it’s hard to listen to myself when I say this, because there are deadlines to be met, reams of paperwork, and surprises at every turn thanks in part to the negligence of other people. I won’t go into the details because you don’t want to hear them anymore than I want to re-hash them. Suffice it to say – things are a bit nutty.
And I’m hormonal.
Ah, yes. Pregnancy hormones. The other day, The Accountant called to say she’d be working late. I hung up the phone, promptly stubbed my toe, and burst into tears. Not being able to find something to wear to work seems probable cause for throwing myself dramatically back into bed and pouting for the day (I haven’t given in to this urge – but it’s tempting!). The hormones seem to make every feeling feel bigger and badder.
And speaking of finding something to wear, I am rapidly outgrowing phase one of my maternity wardrobe. Luckily, my collection of maternity dresses is still in the game, but my old jeans are done for, and the shirts that seemed big at the beginning are now getting to be too short to cover my growing belly. And bras? Don’t get me started on bras. I will not buy more bras because I know my boobs are just going to get bigger (closer to my due date I’ll get some nursing bras), and I already bought some in a cup size larger earlier in the pregnancy, so I’m trying to make do with what I have, adding extenders to give myself more room to breathe. The extenders are a fairly decent solution, as they keep me from being in actual pain, but I am never fully comfortable.
Jeans are another problem. I was wearing low-rise, under the belly maternity jeans until recently, but now they just plain don’t fit. So I figured it was time to switch to the more old school, big stretchy belly-panel jeans. I tried some on at a maternity store, thought they seemed great, and bought three pairs. It turns out, they are not great. Not great at all. The panel isn’t snug enough to keep them up, so they are constantly sliding down! And I mean constantly. To make matters more interesting, the stretchy panel on two of the three pairs is light tan (the other is navy), so if the pants slide enough (and they do!) that the panel peeks out from under my shirt, it looks like I am flashing some belly skin…not exactly the look I’m going for at work! I don’t want to be the pregnant flasher.
So my boobs are always uncomfortable, my pants are always falling, and my shirts are riding up. I spend all day futzing and twitching and fixing and it is exhausting. And now The Baby is getting big enough that he is sometimes poking and prodding me in very uncomfortable ways, which means that at moments of the perfect storm, I am uncomfortable everywhere. And of course the hormones are a-ragin’, making all of this discomfort so much more pleasant to deal with!
I think the most frustrating part of it is feeling like Debbie Downer. I really do love being pregnant. I love feeling our little boy kick and dance and karate chop and whatever the hell else he is doing in there (he is really active!). I love knowing that I am taking care of him and nourishing him so he can grow and thrive. So my clothes being super uncomfortable and aggravating makes me bummed out about being uncomfortable and aggravated when I’d rather be just enjoying my pregnancy, you know? I’m pregnant! That is amazing and wonderful and exciting! I don’t want to be thinking about my pants this much!!
I just reread that last paragraph… It’s official: I am a crazy, hormonal pregnant lady. Hear me roar.
Emily on the Southern Prairie
January 21, 2010
My maternity jeans slide down too. Nothing like walking around and getting baggy crotch.
wishinghopingpraying
January 21, 2010
Oh my, that sounds really unpleasant. I hope you can get comfy soon.
strawberry
January 22, 2010
Pregnancy is hard and you’re allowed to complain. But you know it’ll all be worth it in the end. Have you tried the stretchy thing that goes over your regular pants, so that you can keep them unbuttoned? http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=930660111&MasterCategory_Id=MC32 Hm, maybe you’re way beyond that point now though. It won’t take long before you’re filling out those big panel pants.
feministhousewife
January 22, 2010
Thanks for the support, everyone.
Strawberry – Yes, I am indeed way beyond the stretchy band, ha ha! It was great for the first few months though! I just hate feeling like I’m throwing money away on clothes that don’t work out – even though I am being thrifty and not paying much for what I do buy. We’ll see what happens with the stretchy panel jeans. I think they may actually get worse as I get bigger – I feel like for them to work, the panel would have to reach all the way up to under my bustline, and it doesn’t. It seems that the panel not being tall enough is part of the problem. Perhaps I will just stop wearing pants
I wore a dress yesterday and another today, and I feel so much better!!
strawberry
January 22, 2010
The wife found wearing maternity skirts and dresses more comfortable, too. Once she started fitting into the full panel pants, I do recall the panel went to just below her bustline…but she’s short
Nickie
January 23, 2010
Congrats on your baby and house buying adventures. My wife and I are also expecting. We live in Framingham and are looking for other lesbians moms to be for support…
Congrats again.
P.S. And I also hate maternity clothes.
feministhousewife
February 1, 2010
Congrats to you as well! There’s an email coming your way
amy
January 29, 2010
it is so hard to feel comfortable with such a big belly and every body is different and you grow quickly so maternity shopping is hard. I found nursing bras to be the best all through pregnancy. I could only wear full panel pants that covered my entire belly otherwise I was miserable. Old nav.y was a great place for me…inexpensive too as far as maternity wear goes
feministhousewife
February 1, 2010
Amy – see my love affair with Old Navy here, ha ha! I actually just found that Target maternity jeans work for me – they seem to have the biggest panel!
Kathrin
February 1, 2010
Congrats on the baby…and the house! I know how stressfull homebuying is…can’t image doing it while pregnant!
What would you say where/are your top five resources that were invaluable to you throughout the conception process?
feministhousewife
February 1, 2010
Thanks Kathrin. You can read about our TTC journey but checking out my posts tagged “TTC” here. The internet was very helpful, as were the only two lesbian-ttc books that I know of, which are written by Rachel Pepper and Stephanie Brill, respectively.