When all I can think about are things I don’t want to blog about, the writing stops. And lately, all I can think about is The Baby. What baby? Well, I’m not pregnant, and we are not even trying to get pregnant yet, so it’s our Hypothetical Baby that I am thinking about, morning, noon and night. The Baby. BabyBabyBabyBabyBaby.
The arrival of 2009 brings us that much closer to trying to create the baby, so with January has come renewed baby-mania. It just seems silly to be blogging about The Baby when it is so far from a tangible being, that I’ve just zipped my lip and fallen silent, preferring instead to read about other people’s babies morning, noon and night, and search the internet tirelessly for the perfect gender-neutral crib bedding and an affordable crib with drop sides (I’m short) that doesn’t make me want to vomit.
In case you are wondering, here is that very crib bedding:
Seriously, this is perfect
And crib:
I decided you can’t go wrong with a classic
But it hasn’t been all internet window shopping and blog crushes. Oh no. There was that Saturday morning a couple of weeks ago when I dove into the lesbian TTC (trying to conceive) blogosphere head first and nearly had a nervous breakdown because it seemed to be taking them all(!) so(!) long(!) to get pregnant! The Accountant came home from work to find me wide-eyed in front of the computer - I can’t leave the desk until I find a happy story. I need to find a couple that got pregant fast. She wisely turned on her heel and went to watch CSI on DVR.
Thank god for 1 in Vermillion! Pregnant after 3 tries! There is hope! I think of them and Darwin’s Mommies whenever I start one of my premature panics about months and months and months and months of trying, with all of the stress and the thousands upon thousands of dollars spent with no results. I know I shouldn’t worry about that which I cannot control or even predict, but we have just as much chance of taking forever to get knocked up as we do of having quick success. It’s a total crapshoot. A crapshoot to the tune of about $1000 per month, not to mention the emotional cost of living in endless cycles of waiting to ovulate, waiting to see if insemination worked and then facing negative results over and over and over again. I mean, what could I possibly have to worry about??? Ugh.
Work helps and doesn’t help. Being a nanny to two wee ones under the age of three means a daily baby fix, but it also means a little teaser of life to come, which makes me long for when it will be my house with my little ones, rather than someone else’s.
So that, dear readers, is why it’s been quiet around here lately. I’ve just been a little preoccupied with all of this baby business and had a hard time getting it all into blog-form until now.
As for now, I just heard the buzzer that means it’s time to get the laundry. I guess I should look on the brightside – we have a lot less laundry to do now than we will one day!
strawberry
January 24, 2009
Hi there
Noticed an incoming link from your blog to ours and we are happy to be giving you hope! We know lots of couples who got pregnant in 3 tries or less (mostly in real life), and lots who are unfortunately still trying after many months (mostly online). You’re right…total crapshoot…but you have just as good a chance as we did starting out. And that hopefulness you feel at the beginning is very important.
We’ll be following you along your journey and hoping for the best!
Leigh
January 24, 2009
Oh sweetie! Hang in there. Talk to you soon.
Desaray
January 24, 2009
I know! On the whole, the blogs can be tragic. Here’s my theory: The women who are having trouble tend to blog because they need the community more. It’s like, your natural community doesnt kick in till your actually pregnant, so, in the meantime you gotta blog and reach and out and stuff. I dont know. What I’m sayin’ is, surely it’s not a representative sample
feministhousewife
January 25, 2009
Strawberry – Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I really enjoy following your journey and I’m so glad to have found your blog. The “report cards” crack me up, and I’m so happy for you and Nutella. Thanks for the reassurance!
Leigh – We are due for emailing
Desaray – I thought of this too. That perhaps the gals who get knocked up fast don’t get the chance to start blogging….? Hey, it could happen!
Elise
January 26, 2009
i know exactly how you feel. in fact, i probably could have written this entry word for word (minus the nanny-babies, of course!). we are going to have our babies in our arms very soon…and then we’ll wonder why we wished our sleep-full nights and light laundry loads away
Sam
January 26, 2009
Oh I know “the baby” I obsessed over my imaginary baby for so long I can’t remember a time that I didn’t. Now that we are in the next stage it really hasn’t changed except I get to really obsess. Thanks for the shout out. Looking forward to seeing you. Sam
feministhousewife
January 26, 2009
Elise and Sam – I had a feeling you’d both understand
Leigh
January 26, 2009
By the way, should I be knitting baby blankets and toys to match the gender-neutral bedding?
feministhousewife
January 26, 2009
Leigh – Oh my god, there’s no one better than you! That general color scheme is definitely safe! We want to do something modern and bright for the nursery. Who knows if that bedding will still be available when the time comes, but if it is….