With the promotion bonanza for the Sex and the City movie well under way, Cynthia Nixon and her girlfriend Christine Marinoni have been all over blogs and entertainment sites. The reader comments have been off-color at best, and downright cruel and homophobic at worst.

I happen to think they’re a hot couple (though I am a lesbian with a lifelong penchant for redheads, so I guess I’m a bit biased), but it seems many straight blog readers just can’t get over Christine’s butch-leaning appearance. If I read, “Why doesn’t [Cynthia] just date a man” one more time, my head is going to explode.  This mentality comes from one of two places: sheer ignorance, or male arrogance/insecurity.

In the case of the simply ignorant, they fail to understand that short hair and collared shirts do not a man make. Butch lesbians are women. To say “Why doesn’t she just date a guy” is to say that the only diffrence between a woman with a butch appearance and a man is a penis, and isn’t that really what women want, so why not just go for the “real thing.”  This kind of thinking underminds lesbian relationships. It discounts the fact that women who are in romantic relationships with other women actually desire one another and have a romantic and sexual attraction for one another. Cynthia’s girlfriend might not be our Maxim Magazine Culture’s idea of a hot lady, but I’m sure plenty of lezzies find her hot! Some people, myself included, find a little androgyny (or a lot!) to be very sexy. And that brings us to the male arrogance and insecurity.

By exclaiming, “Why not just date a guy,” they are negating the possibility that – shock! horror! – butch lesbians may have something they don’t. Some men do realize this possibility and it makes them insecure; now this woman is viewed as competition, and they have to put her down to make themselves feel better, just like in grade school. So they call her ugly and make fun of her.

I’ve seen multiple comments from men saying they “Wouldn’t want to see that,” as if lesbian sex exists solely for their viewing pleasure. Well, guess what fellas, you don’t want to see it? We (and I will gladly speak for all lesbians here) never wanted to show you in the first place! Classic male arrogance at work.

Reading all this crap had me pretty fed up.  So lets look at some lovely not-so-girly ladies to cheer me up, shall we?

    

      

Ah…  Much better.